j***@hotmail.com
2006-07-12 19:42:42 UTC
My gf is so insecure, that it is ripping apart our relationship. I am
31, and she is 33.
She doesn't like any of my friends. She says it's because they take me
away from her. I have two friends that she likes, and I think the only
reason she still likes them is because they live so far away, I hadly
ever see them.
I bought a motorcycle, and she immediately told me that there already
isn't enough room in my life for her. When I try to go ride it for 1
or two hours once per week, she gets upset and says that it is taking
me away from her.
If I show interest in anything at all other than her, she gets very
huffy.
It is to the point now, where I don't even answer my phone when we are
together because I get yelled at. In the past two weeks, we have been
together about 12 days. In those 12 days, I have probably let about 10
calls go to voice mail, and answered one. When i did answer the one
call, she got upset and said "I never have you to myself."
There have been a number of men show interest in her in the past three
years that we have been together. She does nothing to discourage them,
and says that she likes the attention that they give her because she
doesn't get enough from me. One time, we had a problem with her
leading this guy on to get attention. When I told her I was
uncomfortable with it, she said, "Well, I wouldn't have to do it if I
felt that you loved me." I responded rather harshly with, "No, you
wouldn't have to do it if you weren't so insecure." She immediately
ran into her room and hid under the covers.
She expects me to immediately drop any plans that I have if she asks me
to do something. If I don't do it, she tells me that whatever it is
that I have to do is more important to me than she is.
I spend every Friday-Sun with her as well as at least 2 other days
during the week leaving three or fewer days for me to do other chorse
like mowing the grass, laundry, etc. I go out with my friends about
once every two weeks, and it upsets her because I should be spending
this time with her.
Rather than her addressing her insecurity, she expects me to accomodate
it and alter my actions so as to not upset her.
She is extremely sensitive to any criticism because of this insecurity.
So, my question is, how do I get her to accept that some of these
problems is her insecurity, and then how tdo I get her to deal with
this insecurity? I already know that anything I say is going ot upset
her.
31, and she is 33.
She doesn't like any of my friends. She says it's because they take me
away from her. I have two friends that she likes, and I think the only
reason she still likes them is because they live so far away, I hadly
ever see them.
I bought a motorcycle, and she immediately told me that there already
isn't enough room in my life for her. When I try to go ride it for 1
or two hours once per week, she gets upset and says that it is taking
me away from her.
If I show interest in anything at all other than her, she gets very
huffy.
It is to the point now, where I don't even answer my phone when we are
together because I get yelled at. In the past two weeks, we have been
together about 12 days. In those 12 days, I have probably let about 10
calls go to voice mail, and answered one. When i did answer the one
call, she got upset and said "I never have you to myself."
There have been a number of men show interest in her in the past three
years that we have been together. She does nothing to discourage them,
and says that she likes the attention that they give her because she
doesn't get enough from me. One time, we had a problem with her
leading this guy on to get attention. When I told her I was
uncomfortable with it, she said, "Well, I wouldn't have to do it if I
felt that you loved me." I responded rather harshly with, "No, you
wouldn't have to do it if you weren't so insecure." She immediately
ran into her room and hid under the covers.
She expects me to immediately drop any plans that I have if she asks me
to do something. If I don't do it, she tells me that whatever it is
that I have to do is more important to me than she is.
I spend every Friday-Sun with her as well as at least 2 other days
during the week leaving three or fewer days for me to do other chorse
like mowing the grass, laundry, etc. I go out with my friends about
once every two weeks, and it upsets her because I should be spending
this time with her.
Rather than her addressing her insecurity, she expects me to accomodate
it and alter my actions so as to not upset her.
She is extremely sensitive to any criticism because of this insecurity.
So, my question is, how do I get her to accept that some of these
problems is her insecurity, and then how tdo I get her to deal with
this insecurity? I already know that anything I say is going ot upset
her.