FirstOne
2004-09-11 05:47:55 UTC
I am dating a woman now who I knew for about 5 years. We are now
dating for just under 1 year. When I asked her out, it was very
difficult to do since we were friends. It was not easy for her to get
used to this as well at first. Today we are a couple and I love her.
She is the first person I am actually considering marrige with.
However I feel like I need to get to know her better. It seems silly
that in 5 years I still don't know her enough, but that's not the
problem.
The problem is that I have doubts about us as a married couple. We
were good as friends, and good as lovers which is above my wildest
dreams or expectations. But as with all relationships I had, this one
has conflicts, and there are some things that I would like to see
different. - about her, about us.
The main problems I see are:
+Boredom - I don't understand why but she seems to be bored very
easily. She gets bored with all things. Well at least she always tells
me about it. I'm really starting to wonder about her. Why does she
get bored? She can't just be? And how does she deal with it? She calls
me- at work, at home, in the morning, at night. It's very hard to say
goodbye to her too! I guess I don't like to feel like I am her
personal entertainment and sometimes I wonder if she is calling me bc
she is bored or bc she wast to talk... I, on the other hand do not get
bored easily. I never say the words in fact. I was hoping it will rub
off on her, but she is getting worse. I am hoping someone can fill me
in with a different point of view. I talked to her about it and she
always says "Thats the way I am"
+She is not serious or passionate enough when it comes to sex. In
fact, one day she told me that she does not want to have any more sex
bc she was afraid it would make her pregnant, and she didn't want to
risk it. A month later with no sex, she acts as though nothing has
happened, and we are back to having sex. I admit its a problem. I
really couldn'tt keep my hands off when we first started dating. Now
she thinks I always want it, even though I don't :) and any attempt by
me to be romantic, she interprets as 'not again'. Maybe it's her way
of dealing but she makes me feel guilty and like I need to 'get'
her... don't know how to explain it, but lets just say I get rejected
alot. We had many arguments about it...
So in conclusion I would like to iron out these issues a little before
asking her to be my wire. Of course there is more involved here but
its a start.
Helpful advice or a different point of view is welcome. Thank you in
advance for reading,
FirstOne
dating for just under 1 year. When I asked her out, it was very
difficult to do since we were friends. It was not easy for her to get
used to this as well at first. Today we are a couple and I love her.
She is the first person I am actually considering marrige with.
However I feel like I need to get to know her better. It seems silly
that in 5 years I still don't know her enough, but that's not the
problem.
The problem is that I have doubts about us as a married couple. We
were good as friends, and good as lovers which is above my wildest
dreams or expectations. But as with all relationships I had, this one
has conflicts, and there are some things that I would like to see
different. - about her, about us.
The main problems I see are:
+Boredom - I don't understand why but she seems to be bored very
easily. She gets bored with all things. Well at least she always tells
me about it. I'm really starting to wonder about her. Why does she
get bored? She can't just be? And how does she deal with it? She calls
me- at work, at home, in the morning, at night. It's very hard to say
goodbye to her too! I guess I don't like to feel like I am her
personal entertainment and sometimes I wonder if she is calling me bc
she is bored or bc she wast to talk... I, on the other hand do not get
bored easily. I never say the words in fact. I was hoping it will rub
off on her, but she is getting worse. I am hoping someone can fill me
in with a different point of view. I talked to her about it and she
always says "Thats the way I am"
+She is not serious or passionate enough when it comes to sex. In
fact, one day she told me that she does not want to have any more sex
bc she was afraid it would make her pregnant, and she didn't want to
risk it. A month later with no sex, she acts as though nothing has
happened, and we are back to having sex. I admit its a problem. I
really couldn'tt keep my hands off when we first started dating. Now
she thinks I always want it, even though I don't :) and any attempt by
me to be romantic, she interprets as 'not again'. Maybe it's her way
of dealing but she makes me feel guilty and like I need to 'get'
her... don't know how to explain it, but lets just say I get rejected
alot. We had many arguments about it...
So in conclusion I would like to iron out these issues a little before
asking her to be my wire. Of course there is more involved here but
its a start.
Helpful advice or a different point of view is welcome. Thank you in
advance for reading,
FirstOne