Dina & Peter
2004-02-11 18:21:23 UTC
THREE DAYS AND COUNTING!
Valentine's Day is Saturday, folks. Maybe you've been busy or simply
didn't have a clue what to give that special someone. Here's an
article that can help. For a download of the TOP 10 Sweetest Ideas or
to take our fun romance survey, visit www.whatsromantic.com. Blowing
Candy kisses to you, Dina
Whose Gift is it Anyway?
Gift-giving should be an Olympic sport, I think. It requires a similar
level of training, practice and dedication to get just the right
present. Honestly, it's hard work. We use ourselves as models,
thinking: "I'd love this so, of course he will too." But sometimes we
empathize a tad too much and end up with an US' gift.
The US Gift
What's that? It's a gift that's meant for your sweetheart that you
share, too. For example, an old boyfriend of mine presented me with
some very luxurious French lingerie for Valentine's Day. Really
gorgeous stuff with lace and not much else.
While I appreciated the sexy gift, it made me wonder just how well he
knew me. (I'm strictly a flannel woman from December to April). Seemed
to me the gift was obviously for him. That's not necessarily a bad
thing, if you know what I mean, but it wasn't exactly selfless either.
Gifts should be selfless, given without expectation or obligation. At
least that's what my Dad used to always say and I agree.
How to Avoid the US gift
The best way to avoid giving an US gift is to focus exclusively on
your partner's interests. Remember, it's not what you want, it's what
she wants that matters. Listen to her daily conversation more closely.
Slipped in between the pass-the-cereal and goodnight sweetheart is a
treasure trove of clues for you about gifts he desires. Did he mention
that he wanted to read that bestseller advertised in the paper? Or,
maybe you caught her gazing longingly at a local knitting store and
reminiscing about the projects of her youth. Take notice, and then
casually ask questions to get more specifics. Do it right and your
gift will be considered thoughtful and sweet.
Repackaging an US gift
Don't despair if you've already gotten that US gift. You can repackage
it. Change it in some significant way that puts the focus squarely on
the recipient. A friend of mine with small children recently planned a
long overdue romantic weekend away for herself and her husband at a
posh spa resort. It was a good intentioned US gift. To correct her
mistake, my friend arranged for her husband to drive separately. He
spent the first day there alone enjoying a round of spa treatments.
She joined him the next day. He felt special and they both enjoyed the
trip.
My Mom used to say it's not the gift that matters; it's the thought
that counts. I agree, especially if the thought says: I picked this
gift only for you.
About the Author. Dina Beach Lynch is the co-author of the forthcoming
book, Ideas for the Romantically Challenged.
Visit www.whatsromantic.com for more tips. Dina can be reached at
***@whatsromantic.com.
Valentine's Day is Saturday, folks. Maybe you've been busy or simply
didn't have a clue what to give that special someone. Here's an
article that can help. For a download of the TOP 10 Sweetest Ideas or
to take our fun romance survey, visit www.whatsromantic.com. Blowing
Candy kisses to you, Dina
Whose Gift is it Anyway?
Gift-giving should be an Olympic sport, I think. It requires a similar
level of training, practice and dedication to get just the right
present. Honestly, it's hard work. We use ourselves as models,
thinking: "I'd love this so, of course he will too." But sometimes we
empathize a tad too much and end up with an US' gift.
The US Gift
What's that? It's a gift that's meant for your sweetheart that you
share, too. For example, an old boyfriend of mine presented me with
some very luxurious French lingerie for Valentine's Day. Really
gorgeous stuff with lace and not much else.
While I appreciated the sexy gift, it made me wonder just how well he
knew me. (I'm strictly a flannel woman from December to April). Seemed
to me the gift was obviously for him. That's not necessarily a bad
thing, if you know what I mean, but it wasn't exactly selfless either.
Gifts should be selfless, given without expectation or obligation. At
least that's what my Dad used to always say and I agree.
How to Avoid the US gift
The best way to avoid giving an US gift is to focus exclusively on
your partner's interests. Remember, it's not what you want, it's what
she wants that matters. Listen to her daily conversation more closely.
Slipped in between the pass-the-cereal and goodnight sweetheart is a
treasure trove of clues for you about gifts he desires. Did he mention
that he wanted to read that bestseller advertised in the paper? Or,
maybe you caught her gazing longingly at a local knitting store and
reminiscing about the projects of her youth. Take notice, and then
casually ask questions to get more specifics. Do it right and your
gift will be considered thoughtful and sweet.
Repackaging an US gift
Don't despair if you've already gotten that US gift. You can repackage
it. Change it in some significant way that puts the focus squarely on
the recipient. A friend of mine with small children recently planned a
long overdue romantic weekend away for herself and her husband at a
posh spa resort. It was a good intentioned US gift. To correct her
mistake, my friend arranged for her husband to drive separately. He
spent the first day there alone enjoying a round of spa treatments.
She joined him the next day. He felt special and they both enjoyed the
trip.
My Mom used to say it's not the gift that matters; it's the thought
that counts. I agree, especially if the thought says: I picked this
gift only for you.
About the Author. Dina Beach Lynch is the co-author of the forthcoming
book, Ideas for the Romantically Challenged.
Visit www.whatsromantic.com for more tips. Dina can be reached at
***@whatsromantic.com.