The Marriage Itch

[Marsu]

I am very much feeling the itch of marriage recently with everyone
around becoming engaged and married. I also know that I myself am
ready even though I am going back to school. I have been with my
boyfriend now for a little over a year and a half. He is 4 years
younger than me and while I don't expect him to pop the question any
time soon being that he is still in school himself (graduating in '05)
but I do expect to talk about it more. But he seems to shy away from
all of that and I don't want to put any pressure on him. I really
want to know when men start feeling that way, the way of knowing this
is the person I am going to be with for the rest of my life ? I have
been told that men like to be in charge and ready when they pop the
question. Be settled in a career and a stable job and know for sure
this is for them. His brother waited 3+ years to pop the question to
his fiance. Golly! Maybe it's a family thing!

Any thought?

[Angel]

Hi there,
You're obviously feeling the pressure of everyone around you getting
engaged and married and the thought of it makes you feel left out.
The idea of being married to the person you love is beautiful and
'that' feeling will last forever, it won't and I don't mean to sound
negative either. Marriage takes alot of work more than you think.
Also the reality is, you are still very young and so is your
boyfriend. I understand you have every right to know of your future
together but if he's shying away from the topic, you could be scaring
him off and you said you also don't want to pressure him either. If
it's any consolation, I married at 21 and now I'm 30. An example of
when and how men know when they are ready to pop the question, my
husband dated his previous girlfriend for 5 years he was 20 at the
time and still did not know if she was "the one". He then met me when
he was 26 and knew straight away but took him 3 years to ask me to
marry him without hinting to me of a possible future. (I was 18 when I
met him). So my point is, if you're waiting for your boyfriend to
propose, perhaps you should take into consideration that a)he's still
very young, b)he loves you and but marriage is not on the cards yet,
and c)he wants to finish school and get his life into gear before he
thinks of settling down. Now you need to ask yourself, are you
willing to wait that long until he sorts his life out? You're
obviously older and wiser than him which tells me you know what you
want, but does he? Love is such a waiting game and gamble but who
loses in the end!?
Hope you get your man, I think you will if you're patient.
Good luck!