Discussion:
Guys: here's a useful tool to warn you when 'that time of month' is coming
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Mr. Wizard
2004-11-01 19:52:03 UTC
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Guys, for a 100% confidential, 100% free, 100% no-string-attached web
based tool to warn guys when her 'period' will come, visit
http://www.helpmemisterwizard.com. You tell us when her period is (or
was last), and we will email you each month in advance of the big day,
giving you a chance to get out of town on that important business
trip, or to otherwise make arrangements. Fine tune for next month if
you're off slightly, by editing. Track as many users as you need to.
Help Me Mister Wizard is 100% confidential and spam free.

Join the many men who have thanked us for this useful service!

http://www.helpmemisterwizard.com
Angel
2004-11-02 22:55:38 UTC
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Gee 'wizz' aren't you clever! A device tool on how to forewarn men on
a woman's menstrual cycle. My, my what pussys! You'll never EVER
understand how painful and emotional a women can get so don't even
bother. The only and simple way to overcome such a 'oh sh!t, here we
go again' event you pathetic insensitive morons is to simply listen,
try to understand and comfort them during "that time". Try this tool:
'I don't understand what you are going through, but I'm here for you
and I'll help and listen' or how about 'Put your feet up and I'll make
you a cup of tea'. You'll be amazed at the results and how much
better your woman will feel. Hey, she'll even thank you daily by
giving you head left, right and centre. PERIOD.

Oh, and here's some extra advice I found below for you ALL men out
there to read up on.......Why Women are Crabby!!!!!!

We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find
anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts
so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, comfortable training
bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on
our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along
with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone
crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert
tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for
the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your
uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up
with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all
the fuss was about.

Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and
water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over
Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are),
we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily
kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having
Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole
and we pee in our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment
arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst
right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon
feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff
and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs.
Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push,"
warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and
hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling,
mushroom-headed 10 lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all
that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into
walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop
machines.

The teen years. Need I say more?

The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual
prime in our early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th
birthday.

Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all
womanhood. It's either take the HR and chance cancer in those now
seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a
hog in January, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the
head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get
off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in
the woods without soaking their socks...

Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a
tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

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