Discussion:
Hi and need your kindly advice please
(too old to reply)
cherokee
2005-04-10 03:49:12 UTC
Permalink
Hi,

I'm new to this group. I've been married 18 years, female,
heterosexual, have 3 kids, almost 49 yrs old, attractive, and having a
few serious marital difficulties.

If you'll bear with me, I just need to ramble on because my thoughts
are disorganized right now. Pardon how long this post is.

Husband and I are great friends, usually have good sex generally, have
built a home, house, family, go to concerts and dinner together and
enjoy doing so. But we just recently have agreed that we both are not
fulfilled and happy in our marriage with each other. We both much want
out. This has been building for a number of years now, and husband
just told me some things that I suspected he felt toward me but still
it suprise me.

I'd been musing over how to tell him that I am feeling so snuffed out
and imprisoned in this marriage. I'm at what I consider a horrendous
dilemna. Neither does my good friend, my husband, but neither wants to
change the material status, and I feel I just really don't even want to
try to find a way to feel passion for him. I never actually felt that
passion for him. This poses a problem, because this past year, I've met
2 men, one online, and another most recently a doctor who treated me,
with whom I've become coquettishly and hopelessly infatuated with.

This doc is a beautiful guy inside, not a knockout, appeared to give
signs that he is interested in becoming close to me. I really can't go
on "what ifs", however. So, I'm struggling. And I am almost grieving. I
really don't know if this doctor is still married. But he is so
beautiful in his person that it hurts. We just click. Funny how
convenient this is at a time in my life when I am struggling in my
marriage. I might even could fall in love with this man, the doctor.
I've fallen out of love with my husband.

I know it's normal that this happens in marriage, and both husband and
I have discussed this openly, just as I've discussed openly my
infatuation with the doctor, whom my husband also met. This is so that
I don't go around hiding anything, because I believe in honoring the
marriage vow.

I'm at an impasse with husband. I don't want to stay, and if I could
get it on with this doc, I could. He knocks me on my butt, but it's
fantasy, and may never work out, being that I would not see him for
another 3 months, he may be married, his tender understanding is part
of his job (which it is), or what.

I hope I've come to the right place to talk this over. If anyone is
offended, please get past this as these things happen even if you're
not looking for them. I don't believe I will go and have sex with
someone outside my marriage because then I get to wear that destructive
action the rest of my life and don't want to. It would destroy my
husband regardless, my 3 kids, and ultimately me.

I have to do things right, but I feel terrible not feeling the passion
I need to feel for a man. It's not happening with husband and he and i
both agree to this.

Help, please,
Cherokee
Queen B of My Hive
2005-04-12 14:25:03 UTC
Permalink
Sounds like you found your own answers
and you would like to hear "go ahead". It
is only my opinion. Think of how you are
going to feel afterwards.
The old cliche' "The grass is greener...."
comes to mind when I read your post.
Hope everything turned out ok.
Patty

Loading...